The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 81 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and notable for its triple-decker prams, daily referendums, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.873 billion Second Best Puppet 81ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 78.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 81ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,412 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 205,582 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Tightly packed choir-boys sing the god-given joys of heterosexuality on public transport, genetic research has been halted, possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence, and the Hanging Gardens account for half of Second Best Puppet 81 City's water use. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 81's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 81 is ranked 280,846^th in the world and 2,597^th in Two for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 26.9 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.